Inspiration... where are you? #grace

(Press play and listen while you read!)

  

Sheesh almost 2 months since I last wrote.

My blog currently doesn't exactly have a purpose. Will it ever really? Life is always changing - including my passions and experiences. And I think I write about those things most!

I started my blog 4 years ago when I moved to France. I wrote about new experiences, ministry stories, culture differences...

Over the years, this blog has since morphed into things God has been teaching me, random thoughts on various things, yet still interwoven with my ministry life.

And it probably still will.

One thing I feel God has recently taught me - rather is teaching me - is to : "be a learner, not a figure-it-outer". There is grace to be extended in that. I tend to hold myself to a high standard, expecting a lot of myself. Rarely had I considered myself to be the hardest on myself. Yet, it's true. I was - have been - mentally beating myself up for the "failures" in my life. Not extending the grace God extends to me.

No one should be requiring me to be perfect.
No one should assume I will get it right the first time.
No one should demand a polished Hannah.
No one, including myself.

So there is grace. His grace. And it abounds.

I got to help lead singing today at my church in Orlando. One of the songs we sang is called "How He Loves" (if you haven't started listening to it yet, just press play in the video on this post!).

There is a lyric that reads:

"... and I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way .... He loves us!"

Exactly. Why reminisce on the failures, the mistakes, the regrets? He has forgiven us of them, and loves us despite them! As long as we maintain an attitude of being a learner, leaning into God's Holy Spirit that dwells within those who have a personal relationship with Him.

Thank you God for Your grace!

Do you have questions on what having a personal relationship with God looks like? Check out this video called "#FallingPlates"  or email me - I'd love to share with you.

#90sChurchKids and "Ugly Flesh"

There are many blessings for those who have grown up in a Christian home. Going to church, the habit of praying before meals, attending Christian camps in the summer with friends, and possibly becoming a Christian at a young age - I know these are all gifts  from God.

Love me some felt-story-board-Jesus.

On January 9th, 1999, I remember my ten year-old self sitting on our kitchen's wood flood with my mom. We were eating caramel popcorn out of a Christmas tin and talking about Jesus. All that I really remember from the conversation that followed was really understanding the power of the gospel. The reason Jesus was born a baby, grew up living a perfect life, teaching, healing and pointing people to God, and then ultimately dying on the cross for sin. And most importantly, raising again on the third day defeating the grave! And through that, I could be forgiven of the wrongs I had done and will ever do. I also would be promised eternal life with God in heaven! (Sound like a great deal, don't you think?) There are many of us with this similar story - becoming a Christian at a young age. #90sChurchKids


 
Though, in my late high school and early college years, thoughts of comparison often came to mind. My story was that of the "90s Church kid" - born and raised.  I had really known no difference, or had a stark change in life when I did become a Christian.  There were moments I was almost jealous of those who had become Christians later in life.

I realize this sounds silly. Why would anyone, who knows what the benefits and joys of a relationship with Christ looks like, want to delay such a beautiful and satisfying relationship?

This past summer, I revisited those thoughts, though also remembering to be thankful for my own story.  There were a couple of times, even recently, I experienced or participated in what I like to call "ugly flesh" moments. It's the moments you know you are living selfishly, being stubborn, impatient, and just plain irritable. It's those moments you wish, looking back, you might change. It's those moments where I've found myself not living by the power of God within me, but living out of the power of myself.

Ugly.

What about this thought: "maybe guilt is God grieving within you?"  Isn't that a interesting idea? Because, as Jesus-believing-followers, it is true: God lives within us. And when we go against the Spirit's wisdom and direction, we are ultimately rebelling against God. And that grieves Him.


"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:30-32

And it is in the reflection of those moments of weakness, while recognizing them as sin, I find myself appreciating the gospel even more. Because of those moments, I remember my need for the gospel. I too am a broken, sinful and an imperfect person in need of the Savior of the world.

So, those of you who also grew up in the church, us #90sChurchKids, I want to encourage you - appreciate your story and the moments you realize your need for the gospel and our Savior. May they help you keep your focus on living for Him!