#90sChurchKids and "Ugly Flesh"

There are many blessings for those who have grown up in a Christian home. Going to church, the habit of praying before meals, attending Christian camps in the summer with friends, and possibly becoming a Christian at a young age - I know these are all gifts  from God.

Love me some felt-story-board-Jesus.

On January 9th, 1999, I remember my ten year-old self sitting on our kitchen's wood flood with my mom. We were eating caramel popcorn out of a Christmas tin and talking about Jesus. All that I really remember from the conversation that followed was really understanding the power of the gospel. The reason Jesus was born a baby, grew up living a perfect life, teaching, healing and pointing people to God, and then ultimately dying on the cross for sin. And most importantly, raising again on the third day defeating the grave! And through that, I could be forgiven of the wrongs I had done and will ever do. I also would be promised eternal life with God in heaven! (Sound like a great deal, don't you think?) There are many of us with this similar story - becoming a Christian at a young age. #90sChurchKids


 
Though, in my late high school and early college years, thoughts of comparison often came to mind. My story was that of the "90s Church kid" - born and raised.  I had really known no difference, or had a stark change in life when I did become a Christian.  There were moments I was almost jealous of those who had become Christians later in life.

I realize this sounds silly. Why would anyone, who knows what the benefits and joys of a relationship with Christ looks like, want to delay such a beautiful and satisfying relationship?

This past summer, I revisited those thoughts, though also remembering to be thankful for my own story.  There were a couple of times, even recently, I experienced or participated in what I like to call "ugly flesh" moments. It's the moments you know you are living selfishly, being stubborn, impatient, and just plain irritable. It's those moments you wish, looking back, you might change. It's those moments where I've found myself not living by the power of God within me, but living out of the power of myself.

Ugly.

What about this thought: "maybe guilt is God grieving within you?"  Isn't that a interesting idea? Because, as Jesus-believing-followers, it is true: God lives within us. And when we go against the Spirit's wisdom and direction, we are ultimately rebelling against God. And that grieves Him.


"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:30-32

And it is in the reflection of those moments of weakness, while recognizing them as sin, I find myself appreciating the gospel even more. Because of those moments, I remember my need for the gospel. I too am a broken, sinful and an imperfect person in need of the Savior of the world.

So, those of you who also grew up in the church, us #90sChurchKids, I want to encourage you - appreciate your story and the moments you realize your need for the gospel and our Savior. May they help you keep your focus on living for Him!

Labelled: The Z Squad

Last night, I attended a new Bible study from the church I visited on Sunday. It has great potential of being my "church home" for my time here in Orlando.

It was somewhat refreshing being the "n00b" to the group. Just go and attend, maybe chirp in here and there. Growing up in the church with my natural strengths (and weaknesses), I always managed to be apart of some sort of leadership team. And I loved it.

It still, however, was refreshing to be the new girl (not quite Zooey Deschanel-like, but I do like to make others laugh) and remember the perspective of being an outsider.

The group and church, is going through a series on "Lies We Believe". Last night, we talked about shame. Feeling shamed, shaming others, shaming yourself...

As I sat there and listened to the girls, I started thinking about areas of my life I've felt shame or shamed others. As most of you know, I was home schooled. In high school, I did attend the public school for electives. I was looking forward to it for various reasons, one being largely surrounded by non-Christians. Growing up, my core group of friends were fellow Believers. And I am still thankful to this day I still consider them friends. Attending the public high school, I saw I could invite these new friends to youth group, retreats, church etc.

Weeks in to freshman year, a kid had labeled me and a few others "The Z Squad". I later learned it mean the Zealot Squad, and he meant it negatively (why are kids so mean??). I was so over high school and ready for college - even after the first day, freshman year. Reaching out to non-Christian friends became a struggle as I was apart of groups that morphed and changed dynamics through out the years or even the extent of being pushed out of cliques. Who wants to feel unwanted? It's safe to say, my college years were much better - friendships, ministry, the experience as a whole - much better.

Anyways, I am thankful that the "shameful" example I thought of didn't weigh me down for forever. By God's grace, He revealed truth to me that what others think of me doesn't matter - especially when it comes to graciously sharing the gospel. And again by His grace, for this season of life, He has lead me to be a missionary. Psh and I'm even using my college degree of marketing to do it!

#whoknew #lieswebelieve #HeRedeems #thezsquad

Quick Trip to Orlando

This week, I flew down to Orlando in search of housing. I knew God would give me some direction and lead me to where He wants me to be – even if that meant not finding something right away! But I did!

I really wanted to find something close to downtown so I can invest in the people of Orlando, live near the church I will be apart of and get out of the “Cru Bubble” a bit. As a missionary, it’s easy to see your work as your ministry – but that should not be so! Work is work, even though I happen to be a missionary. I want to get involved with the community and church once I get life set up in Orlando.

I will be living with a woman who also works with Crusade so she understands the workload and perspective of the job! I’d met her before, but learned about her need for a roommate through some co-workers. I will be living real close to downtown, the airport and my gym. Overall, I think it will be great!

It was also great to see friends I’ve made from the past year. It’s nice to know I have a solid group of people in my line of work and in my season of life to do life with when I move there in January.

What’s next on the agenda? Finishing my seminary class that I have been taking simultaneously while raising support. It’s been challenging and educational, as I’ve learned about the New Testament. While I am thankful to be taught these biblical foundations, I will be relieved when the final exam is over! I would love some prayers for finishing, and finishing well.

Until next week…

"Do you smell like Jesus?"

In my quiet time this week, I was reading in 2 Corinthians. Paul was writing to the church in Corinth to address some issues of the early church. 

"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing..." 2 Corinthians 2:14-15

These verses struck a cord in me. Wow - do my actions, character and words reflect Christ toward others? Unfortunately, not always. As I become older, I realize the "ugliness" of living out of my own abilities (or 'living out of my flesh' according to "Christianese" haha). As Christians, we have been given the gift of the Spirit, not only to assure our eternal destination, but to live out of His strength in loving others.

I like the picture these verses paint, as the idea is something everyone - Christian and non-Christian alike - can envision. This is what came to my mind: when you walk through a department store, generally you know right where the perfume section is located. Sometimes it's overwhelming actually. But the idea that you know what that counter is all about, just by being near it, is somewhat motivating for me. When others are near me, I want them to, in some way, be encouraged, feel loved and cared for because of the Spirit at work in me. What's cool too, is that He takes the lead. You don't have to be this 'super-Christian' on your own. Man, that would be exhausting! 

I leave you with this video for kicks and giggles...

"God Save the Queen"

"What does it mean?" We were both puzzled, unsure of the origin of this phrase.

Last October, during my internship with Campus Crusade for Christ in Orlando, I met Meena. She had been interning with the Disney program for several months and still wanting to experience some true American culture. As our initial conversation continued to unfold, so our friendship began.

We baked that apple pie right there, oh yes we did.

We ended up spending the classic, American holiday - Thanksgiving - together. I think Meena would agree, that this was a good "taste" of American traditions.

In the next couple of weeks in December and early January, we continued to hang out, going out to eat at classic American restaurants like Cracker Barrel and the Cheesecake Factory. We had many conversations about our internships, living in different countries, culture and religion. Based on the questions she asked, I knew Meena was definitely searching for the satisfaction only a relationship with God could bring.

Dinner at Cracker Barrel - biscuits and gravy! 

As the end of January approached, so did the end of Meena's internship and ultimately, her time in Orlando. As limited as it was, I was excited and thankful for the time we had spent together. We continued to stay in touch through out the spring and summer months. I was trusting God to continue to work in Meena's life as she had moved home.

WHICH HE DID!!! A couple of days ago, I skyped with Meena and she told me she had become a Christian!!! 

She explained to me that our friend Bryn had described the gospel in a creative way. We each have report cards, full of C's and D's, but Jesus has a report card full of A+'s! Because Jesus loves us so much, He is willing to trade His report card with us, so we can succeed and have a relationship with Him.

This August, she was visiting friends in Orlando. During her visit, she faced some challenges and tough choices. Toward the end of her trip, as she was processing life, her future and her journey thus far, she decided she wanted to trade report cards with Jesus. She realized He was pursuing her and wasn't going to stop.

Praise God for technology!

Since then, "I've been focusing on God, learning to really enjoy Him. My job right now is to become more Christian (Christ-like) everyday" Meena said this afternoon. My jaw dropped a little bit at how God has been transforming Meena in her newfound relationship with Him. Truely awesome!

It was so great to hear more of her testimony/story, listen to her questions and experiences as a new Christian. I asked her if I could write about her and share prayer requests.

Please pray:

• First that Meena would continue to trust in the Spirit and His work in her life.
• For a teachable heart to soak up the Word
• For patience and trusting God to heal and lead

And Praise God for a new sister in Christ!!!

It's here! It's here!!

Praise God!!! The Jesus Film App has now been released for download in the Apple Store, with the Android app soon to follow in the Google Play store.

Please download it, play with it and let me know what you think! Tell your friends, post it to Facebook, Twitter or email your friends.

Know of some missionaries overseas? Share this with them! Think of how this will help them communicate the gospel in the native tongue of the country they are serving in.

I would also love to be in contact with any missionaries you may know of - email me their contact info so I can encourage, inform and share ideas with them. As someone who has lived overseas in a country where I did not know the language very well, I can see so much potential for this ministry tool!

Jesus Film Media

The Jesus Film Donor Video from Cooke Pictures on Vimeo.